The Importance of being aware of change
Do you change with the situation? Or do you change the situations around you?
This is a really vital question you need to ask yourself. Why?
In any given circumstance, we as humans are constantly changing and often we are not aware of it!
An experiment that was done on a frog, showed that if you drop a frog in hot water! Naturally, it jumped straight back out, survival instincts kicked in and the frog realised the danger immediately! When the frog was dropped in a pot of cold water, and slowly the temperature rose; this time the frog stayed in the water. The frog’s body started to adjust to the gradual change, not realising the danger ahead. By the time the pot of water boiled, it was too late for it to escape.
This can be compared to the human reaction to change.
When we are in a situation which feels difficult or we recognise it to be dangerous, we run. We get into fight or flight mode because it’s a sudden change for us.
When a natural disaster hits us, we feel its impact immediately, and we go into action; as we are not accustomed to it! Yet in our lives and relationships, we allow things to change and gradually we become habitual to it. We get accustomed to it, and by the time we have realised its effect, it feels like we are stuck with it, or it’s too late to change.
That’s not necessarily true. Because we are not frogs.
We can transform our selves and our situations.
We have a choice to change, as change is a very important component of our lives We have the intellectual ability to jump out.
Allah says in surah Baqarah, Ayaah 38
قُلۡنَا ٱهۡبِطُوا۟ مِنۡهَا جَمِیعࣰاۖ فَإِمَّا یَأۡتِیَنَّكُم مِّنِّی هُدࣰى فَمَن تَبِعَ هُدَایَ فَلَا خَوۡفٌ عَلَیۡهِمۡ وَلَا هُمۡ یَحۡزَنُونَ
“….so whenever guidance comes to you from Me, then whoever follows my guidance, then there will neither be any fear on them nor will they grieve.”
Allah is reminding us that we always have a choice in what we do, what we follow.
Yes, it might be difficult, and it will need consistent effort to change, but nothing is impossible! We trust that Allah will help us, so if we trust in Him and believe that He will give us a way out, why do we doubt it?
Small changes in people’s behaviour eventually transform into habits. The reality is we need to be aware that we are changing continuously, whether we like it or not.. so, awareness is key here.
We need to work on changing in the best way possible, having positive mindset on self-improvement, as opposed to having a negative mindset.
The changes around us are important as they have an impact on our personalities, our relationships and our lives.
Unfortunately, In abusive relationships, the abuse doesn’t usually start big, it starts small, then, eventually gets worse. Why? Because the victims have at some point allowed or accepted the abuse, usually because of fear, or because they can’t see a way out of it, just like the frog.
Allah SWT teaches us that we need to be people of reflection, whom continuously think and contemplate on self-development. This is really a crucial part of our deen.
That’s why Allah SWT encourages us to start by looking inwards and changing what is within the self.
Allah says in Surah Ra’d:11
إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنْفُسِهِمْ
“Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.”
If you are feeling stuck, know that Allah knows that we are people who have struggles, He knows us. and He knows that we need to start the change from within.
Start by reflecting on your situation and ask yourself. “How did I get here?”, “what can I do to change myself?” and “How can I improve myself?”
And repeat to yourself when you feel stuck “I know I can. Because Allah said I can.”
As a Coach I have helped hundreds of sisters come out of their situations; will you follow their example and invest in changing yourself and your situation?
The choice to change is always yours!
